Understanding the Emergency System

Survivors Often Feel Confused and Overwhelmed

Most people who experience a tragedy have never interacted with emergency responders or hospital personnel. When they suddenly find themselves in a chaotic, high-stress situation, it’s no surprise they feel lost and overwhelmed.

They may ask:

• “Why are they doing that?”

• “Why can’t I…?”

• “Why aren’t they paying attention to me?”

• “What took them so long to get here?”

When these questions go unanswered, survivors may misinterpret what they see:

• “They’re laughing at me.”

• “They’re not doing their job.”

• “They aren’t treating my loved one properly.”

How to Help: Be an Information Advocate

As a TIP volunteer or support person, your role is not to have all the answers—but to connect survivors to those who do. Often, emergency personnel are focused on their critical responsibilities and may forget to explain what they’re doing.

Whenever possible, ask emergency responders to explain their actions directly to the survivor. You can also gently help normalize what the survivor is experiencing or seeing.

Example:
“I know it seems like they’re ignoring you, but they’re focusing on giving your loved one the best care possible right now.”

What Helpers Should Know About the Emergency System

Patient Confidentiality (HIPAA)

By law, medical personnel cannot share patient information with anyone except immediate family. Even then, if the hospital cannot verify identity—such as during a phone call—they may still withhold information.

As a helper:
Ask emergency personnel to speak directly with family members whenever possible.

Emergency Workers May Seem Impersonal

Police, firefighters, and hospital staff may appear cold or indifferent. In most cases, this is because they are:

• Extremely busy with multiple critical responsibilities

• Protecting themselves emotionally so they can keep functioning

• Having a difficult day

• Needing to quickly return to service or assist another patient

What feels like distance is often a form of professional survival.

Time Slows Down for Survivors

In crisis, survivors often experience time distortion—minutes feel like hours. They may say:

• “It took forever for help to arrive.”

• “No one is telling me anything.”

As a helper:
Recognize this is a normal reaction to trauma. If possible, advocate for updates or help manage expectations gently and honestly.

Emergency Responders Must Control the Scene

When emergency personnel arrive, their immediate goal is to restore order to chaos. That may include:

• Restricting access to the scene

• Speaking in firm, direct tones

• Taking command of the environment

To survivors, this can feel harsh—but it’s how responders maintain safety and structure.

As a helper:
Always ask permission before doing anything at the scene. Be diplomatic and respectful when advocating for the survivor.

Special Considerations at Crime Scenes

If a death is suspicious or unexpected, it may be treated as a crime scene. This means:

• Survivors may not be allowed to enter their home

• The body may remain uncovered as evidence

• Survivors may be prohibited from touching the body

• Survivors may be questioned at length by law enforcement

Your role:
If possible, encourage a responder to explain these procedures directly to the survivor to ease confusion and emotional pain.

After the Scene: Follow-Up Matters

Even after the immediate emergency has passed, survivors may still have lingering questions:

• “Why did they do that?”

• “What really happened?”

• “Did they do everything they could?”

Encourage the survivor to reach out to the emergency responders involved. When they're not in crisis mode, responders are often open to follow-up conversations. These interactions can provide closure, reassurance, and peace of mind—critical steps in the healing journey.