Helping Kids and Teens

Helping Children After the Death of a Loved One

When Informing a Child About Death...

• Tell the truth about what happened.

• Use simple, clear language. Say “died” instead of phrases like “we lost her” or “Grandma went to heaven.”

• If the child asks to see the body and the body is suitable for viewing, allow them to do so. Let the child participate in family sorrow and mourning rituals, including the funeral.

Offering Comfort and Reassurance

• Reassure the child that they will continue to be loved, cared for, and cherished. A bereaved child's greatest fear is often abandonment.

• Hold, hug, and touch the child. Non-verbal connection is a powerful way to show care and security.

• Let the child know that their loved one did not choose to die and did not leave them on purpose.

• Explain clearly that it was not the child’s fault. Young children may believe their thoughts or actions somehow caused the death. Help relieve any feelings of guilt.

Supporting the Child’s Emotional Process

• Encourage questions and emotional expression—again and again, over time.

• Answer honestly and simply. Children are quick to sense dishonesty and may lose trust in adults if misled.

• Be patient. It’s normal for grieving children to regress—temporarily behaving younger than their age.

• Let children see your tears. Crying together can be a shared moment of connection.

• Give them choices. Some children may want to return to school right away. Familiar routines can feel comforting and safe.

Grieving is different for every child. With patience, honesty, and love, you can help them move through this difficult time with the security of knowing they are not alone.