Helping Kids and Teens

Helping Children Feel Safe, Heard, and Loved After Loss

Helping Kids and Teens After Tragedy

Supporting Young People Through Loss, Crisis, and Trauma

When a tragedy occurs, children and teens are affected just as deeply as adults—often in ways that are harder to see or understand. They may not have the words to express what they are feeling, and their reactions can change from moment to moment.

This page offers guidance for supporting children and teens after a traumatic event, helping them feel safe, understood, and supported as they process what has happened.

How Children and Teens Experience Trauma

Young people experience and express grief and trauma differently depending on their age, development, and personality. Some may talk openly about what they’re feeling, while others may withdraw, act out, or seem unaffected at first.

Common reactions may include:

  • Confusion or repeated questions about what happened

  • Changes in behavior, mood, or school performance

  • Fear of being separated from caregivers

  • Sleep disturbances or physical complaints

  • Anger, sadness, guilt, or emotional numbness

These responses are often normal reactions to abnormal events.

What Children and Teens Need Most

After a tragedy, children and teens benefit most from consistency, honesty, and reassurance.

Helpful support includes:

  • Clear, age-appropriate explanations of what happened

  • Reassurance that they are safe and cared for

  • Permission to express feelings in their own way

  • Predictable routines when possible

  • Patient listening without pressure to “be okay”

It’s important to remember that children often revisit their grief over time as their understanding grows.

Talking With Children and Teens About Tragedy

You don’t need perfect words. What matters most is being present and honest.

When talking with young people:

  • Use simple, truthful language

  • Answer questions directly without overwhelming details

  • Let them guide the conversation

  • Acknowledge feelings without trying to fix them

  • Avoid euphemisms that can be confusing (such as “gone to sleep”)

  • If you don’t know how to answer a question, it’s okay to say so.

Supporting Teens

Teens may struggle with intense emotions while also wanting independence and privacy. They may turn to peers instead of adults or try to hide their pain.

Ways to support teens include:

  • Respecting their need for space while staying available

  • Checking in without interrogating

  • Validating their feelings without judgment

  • Encouraging healthy outlets for expression

  • Watching for signs they may need additional support

Teens benefit from knowing that trusted adults are present, even when they don’t ask for help.

Caring for Yourself as a Helper

Supporting children and teens after tragedy can be emotionally demanding. It’s okay to acknowledge your own limits and seek guidance or support when needed.

Taking care of yourself allows you to remain calm, steady, and emotionally available for the young people who depend on you.

Remember

Children and teens don’t need adults to have all the answers—they need adults who are willing to listen, reassure, and stay connected.

Your calm presence, honesty, and compassion can help young people feel less alone as they navigate the impact of tragedy

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