The Horrible Hours

The Horrible Hours

When a tragedy occurs, survivors often enter what we call the Horrible Hours—the period immediately following a traumatic event. During this time, people may feel shocked, numb, disoriented, or emotionally overwhelmed. Nothing feels normal, and even simple decisions can feel impossible.

The Horrible Hours are not a sign that something is wrong. They are a natural human response to sudden loss or crisis.

What Survivors May Experience

During the Horrible Hours, survivors may:

• Feel numb, detached, or “on autopilot”

• Have difficulty thinking clearly or remembering details

• Experience intense emotions that shift quickly

• Feel guilty, confused, or responsible for what happened

• Struggle to make decisions or communicate needs

These reactions can be frightening—especially when people do not understand why they are happening. Knowing what to expect can reduce fear and self-doubt during this critical time.

Why This Time Is So Important

The early hours after a tragedy shape how survivors experience everything that follows. What people hear, see, and feel during this time often stays with them long after the event itself.

During the Horrible Hours:

• Survivors are especially sensitive to tone, language, and presence

• Well-intended words can feel overwhelming or dismissive

• Calm, compassionate support can provide a sense of safety

This is where Emotional First Aid matters most.

How Emotional First Aid Helps

Emotional First Aid focuses on presence rather than fixing. During the Horrible Hours, helpers can support survivors by:

• Being physically and emotionally present

• Listening without judgment or pressure

• Acknowledging what the survivor is experiencing

• Normalizing reactions without minimizing pain

• Helping survivors feel less alone

You do not need the right words. Your steady presence is often enough.

For Survivors

If you are in the Horrible Hours right now, please know:

• What you are feeling is normal

• You are not expected to “hold it together”

• You do not have to figure everything out today

Take things one moment at a time. Support is available.

For Helpers

If you are supporting someone during the Horrible Hours:

• Slow down

• Speak gently

• Avoid advice or explanations

• Let the survivor set the pace

Your role is not to make the pain go away, but to help the survivor feel supported and safe in the moment.

Printable Guide: The Horrible Hours

For a simple, printable overview of what to expect during the Horrible Hours—and how to offer support—download the guide below.

The Horrible Hours: Emotional First Aid in the First Hours After Tragedy
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Learn more about Emotional First Aid and how these skills work together.