Do not impose your own values, beliefs, opinions, or advice on the survivor.
Remember: It’s their tragedy—not yours. Your role is to support, not to direct.

Trauma robs survivors of their sense of control. One of the most important things you can do is help them begin to reclaim it.

Let the survivor make decisions—big or small—and take action whenever possible.

Avoid one of the most common mistakes: taking over.

Emotional First Aid is not about what you think should happen—it's about what the survivor needs.

Listen carefully, observe quietly, and act only in ways that support their expressed needs.

If you follow the survivor’s lead, you will be an effective helper.

Everyone grieves differently. Don’t judge how a survivor is reacting—there is no “right way” to respond to tragedy.
If survivors begin comparing or criticizing each other’s reactions, gently remind them:

“Everyone grieves differently.”

Avoid minimizing or sugar-coating the situation. Instead, recognize the weight of what they’re going through.
Ask about their experience. Listen. Validate. Your acknowledgment helps them begin to process the event.

More than anything you say or do, your gentle, calm, and compassionate presence is what matters most.

Survivors may not remember your exact words—but they will remember how you made them feel.